[P!ATD – Ryan/Brendon] softlyforgotten – Every Night You Stray

Title: Every Night You Stray
Author: softlyforgotten
Rating: PG-13 || Status: Complete
Summary: It wasn’t Ryan’s fault that Brendon had, apparently, taken everything he said to heart and decided to make Jon his new best friend and secret boyfriend.

Archive:
LJ | AO3

OMG, THIS FIC! I was trying not to laugh SO MUCH and I was grinning the whole time because Ryan Ross, you are such a creeper! XD Seriously, I was having secondhand embarrassment for him the whole time, but it was just so hilarious. *heart* I love pining!Ryan and his ridiculously creepy plan to get between the Jon/Brendon-ness, haha.

Spencer blinked at him. “Okay,” he said, carefully. “Can you explain exactly how this makes sense in your crazy little head without using the phrase ‘I found him first’?”

“Yes!” Ryan said indignantly.

There was a long pause.

“Well, go on, then,” Spencer said.

Ryan let out an explosive breath, folded his arms, tapped his foot, and glared at Spencer. Then he said, “I found him first!” and stormed out of the room.

OH RYAN! I love Ryan’s cunning plan and his lurring Jon into a false sense of security and the creepy staring because obviously it’s a good idea! XD

“You can’t kick Jon out of his bunk,” which was how Ryan found himself listening like a creep for Jon to start snoring. Then he pushed the curtain aside and carefully maneuvered himself through until he could sit cross-legged on Jon’s feet and make sure that nothing untoward took place.

Later, he would admit that he possibly hadn’t thought the plan out properly, as after about an hour Jon blinked his eyes open, smiled sleepily at Ryan, and then let out a most unmanly shriek, sitting bolt upright and banging his head against the bottom of Brendon’s bunk. Spencer yelled, groggily and seemingly automatic, “Shut up!” and Brendon mumbled something in his sleep. Jon stared at Ryan with wide, terrified eyes.

“Oh my God,” he said. “Oh my God, what are you doing?”

“Um,” Ryan said, and wondered whether watching you sleep was a better or worse answer than making sure you don’t have sex with Brendon.

“You know what, I don’t even want to know,” Jon whispered. “You stay here, you creepy fuck, I’m going to go sleep in your bunk. And if you follow me again, I swear to God, I’ll burn my contract tomorrow.”

OMG, BEST PART EVER! Seriously, seriously, I kind of DIED OF LAUGHTER when I read this part! Oh Ryan, you are such a CREEP, I LOVE IT. XP

Ryan had given up on trying to be subtle. The time for indirect action was past (Spencer would probably argue that Ryan had never been great at the whole indirect action thing, but Spencer was a traitor to the cause and should not be listened to). Ryan sat with his knees pulled up to his chest and his back against the wall and didn’t even pretend to be reading his book. Instead, he watched Jon play Nintendo DS on the sofa, Brendon dozing lightly on Jon’s shoulder. Jon had a kind of strained look about him that made Ryan sure he was more than aware of Ryan’s stare. Ryan tried to be objective about his mission and not enjoy himself too much.

Such creepiness!

Unfortunately, Spencer was beginning to lose his patience as well. One morning, he caught Ryan hovering outside the bathroom humming Every Breath You Take by The Police while Jon shaved inside, and made a somewhat frightening face. Enough was, apparently, enough.

“That’s it,” Spencer said, and, grabbing his arm, dragged him into the lounge, slamming the door behind him. Ryan blinked at him, but Spencer put his hands on his hips and said, voice low and dangerous, “That is it, Ryan Ross.”

“What?” Ryan asked innocently. “I’m just following the plan!”

“The plan,” Spencer said, from between gritted teeth, “if you can call it that, and I think the Delusional Actions of a Madman might be more appropriate—”

Seriouly Ryan, you are so obvious with your creepiness!

“You are a really creepy guy, you know,” Jon said, and Ryan nodded and tried not to sniff Jon’s shoulder too obviously. Jon still smelled really awesome, but Ryan had a feeling that commenting on that would also feel under the ‘really creepy’ category, and that he should avoid that for a while rather than invoke some more of Spencer’s wrath.

“Oh my God,” Brendon said from the doorway. “Oh my God, Spence, are you seeing this?”

“Ryan gave Jon a hug,” Spencer said solemnly. “He must be in love with him!”

“I’m heartbroken,” Brendon said. “I guess I’ll go watch Jon sleep until I feel better.”

Best ending ever! *heart*